Halloween Trick or Treat

We always look forward to every year’s Halloween celebration. I used to scare little children on the eve of All saint’s day. I would cover myself with a white blanket (as a costume) and walk barefoot along the pathway. It was just for fun and not much of a serious prank. My friend and I would laugh out at our silly tricks as we try to scare them away. We were like undercover-witches hidden-under-a -tamarind tree. My sister signals us every time someone would pass by and we’d prepare our scariest faces. Our parents wouldn’t mind getting our smelly blankets out the house as long us we’re having fun. It has been some kind of a “family tradition” that we wanted to pass on to our younger generation.

Three years ago, my sister and I got the chance to attend SM Cebu’s Halloween Fun Day. Just what I’ve been waiting when I was still a child. It was the first time we heard about “trick or treat” madness in town. The children would all line up in every boutique and ask for some candies and other yummy treats (as scheduled) for an hour. A Halloween costume contest was part of the activity. We were all excited to join and get my sister’s kids wear their loveliest costumes. I get a good grip of my nephew’s hand as we run and ask for candies at a store. Every year, we have been attending Halloween costume contests and parties with my nephew and niece. It’s one way of helping them boost their confidence and gain friends as well. Not to mention, it’s the third time that my nephew Shann Kim won best in costume at Mcdo’s Halloween fun day. He started joining at the age of five and he’s not stopping. His first costume was that of a vampire, then a wizard, a terrifying mummy-all-wrapped up with cloth and the latest as a Roman-mummy-soldier. He would really plan out what his costume would be like every year. Her sister Aya, has always been the sweetest lil’ fairy each year. She looks adorable in her pink fairy dress with a crown and a liltle wing on her back. But she is getting bigger and her dress is getting smaller. I guess I need to buy her a new costume next year!

It’s one of the events that Shann and I and the family look forward to every year. It’s a day filled with fun-scary laughs with the family. If I were a little younger, I’d definitely join Halloween fun day at SM and cover myself with my smelly white blanket! I wouldn’t mind walking on barefoot; it’s part of the fun anyway.

Mamma Maria’s Pizzeria: crocodile meat does exist!!

Have you ever eaten a crocodile meat before? Well if you ask me, I haven’t… I wouldn’t even wanna try. That poor reptile might feel awfully bad if I’d take one munch. But there’s one awesome restaurant that serves delectable crocodile meat for non vegetarians in town and mamma maria pizzeria’s just the perfect place…

My friends and I went out to have some little fun in this small but humongous pizza place in Gorordo. Colorful “banderitas” caught my eye when I got out of the car and was totally astounded. Another mouth-watering festivity of new and exciting flavor awaits me. Good thing that my friend brought her sophisticated camera for us to take a few memorabilia to our one-of-a-kind fellowship. I felt like a star when the only customers they had was us. It was as if the whole place was exclusively reserved for three lovely ladies in the city. And it’s overwhelming to know that the staff and crew have been so graciously amusing and fun.
They’ve got beautiful interior and large tables that could serve a huddle of hungry looking Homo sapiens who’s out for some nibble. You can have a couple of lip-smacking choices of Italian toppings coated with luscious-sultry-melted mozzarella cheese. Yum yum!!

Zen’s first order was a crocodile pizza. At first glance, I thought it was chicken. Not until she said it’s another kind of meat. Well, I’m the type of carnivore who eats only those I grew up to eat. That would imply, eating only what was designed to eat and crocodile isn’t in my list!! I never imagined that crocodile meat really does exist. I mean, they allowed crocs to be slaughtered and killed to have that undeniably tasty pizza? They might look horrible when they dive in swamps and muddy lakes but, oh poor little thing!! They somehow look adorable when they’re hungry, hahaha!! Although I did not take a bite, I could say it tasted really good. Who wouldn’t? My friends ate it all in just a matter of seconds. A delightful smell snapped my nose’s attention as garlic and mozzarella cheese clouded the entire room. How I love that smell! It drove out the greediness in me as I hurried and munched that yummy flavored pizza. I thought I would eat apples, cherries and oranges when tutti frutti pizza was served. It’s a unique pizza flavor that’s topped with fresh tahong and shrimps: savory and appetizing! They also serve a 52” pan pizza with different heavenly flavors that could satisfy about forty famished lads out there. And to complete the snack, a bottomless iced tea is just the thing.

We all had our tummies gorged along with some chitchats and good laughs. As we left, we took a few poses at their simple yet lovely façade. Elena was an instant celebrity when the staff went out to have their picture taken with us. It was an amazing rainy afternoon with my pretty friends and I’ll surely keep that memory in my treasure chest for keeps! I wonder if we all three could gobble up that 52” pan pizza in one setting. Hmmm… Well, I bet we could!

You're the 1, Goldilocks!

It’s Sunday and we’re off to the south with my best friends. I’ve been planning to spend summer with them way back in high school and after eight years, we’ve finally packed up our things and ready to have some fun in one of the best tourist destinations in Cebu, the beautiful Moalboal.

My aunt has a small property there. I visit her every summer and spend weeks or months in her small haven. She left her hometown in Leyte when she eloped with an Italian guy at the age of eighteen. They had no children after twenty two years of marriage, except me. She calls me her adopted daughter when in fact she’s from my father’s farthest kin.

I was planning to surprise her on a very special day. I asked my best friends to help me out since I had no extra allowance left. As early as six, we headed to the terminal with a handful of cookies and cream polvoron, a slice of cassava cake and one lovely mocha cake from Goldilocks. Those are my aunt’s favorites. Would you believe that she would travel two hours to get to the city just to eat those yummy delicious things? I have thought of requesting Goldilocks to open a branch in Moalboal so that she doesn’t have to experience the painstaking and nausea-inflicting ride on a bus. When she gets old, it would be difficult for her to do that. How excruciating it is for an old woman to go through such horrible experience. But my Aunt would only laugh at me every time I tell her this.

She first got married to a Filipino man at seventeen and gave birth to an adorable baby. But their marriage ended up drastically and his man took her daughter away. I know how much she has resented him. I know how much remorse and hate she had for him and how much my Aunt regretted the day she wasn’t able to fight for her daughter. All the emptiness she had for missing her daughter, she tried to fill it up by taking care of me. In a way, she was able to perform her role as a mother despite the fact that I am not her own. She has been living a solitary and complicated life for a couple of years now. Her failure in both marriages took a part of herself and seeing her like that tears me apart. As much as I want to but I cannot momentarily take away the hurt that was brought from her past. I suppose, visiting my Aunt in her abode eases up the emptiness that she feels. And with a handful of Goldilocks treats, that would lighten a weary heart on a cold lonely summer.

I dashed to the gate and called her up. As a slow poke, my Aunt wasn’t expecting me to arrive that early. We all greeted and shouted happy mother’s day along with a bagful of her favorites. With a yawn and a lovely grin she gave me a big warm embrace and never said a word. I felt so delighted and overjoyed by how she reacted. I felt as though, it was the first time I embraced her. As if, I was that little girl who lost my way home and found comfort in her arms. We went straight to the kitchen and opened the boxes filled with yummy toothsome treats.

I was overwhelmed by how my best friends helped me prepare for that day. I have never done anything like this since the time she considered me her own. In fact, that was the only way I could show to her how grateful I am to have her with me. From the time on that my mom entrusted me to her, she took good care of me. People would seldom mistaken me as her daughter because I’d go everywhere she goes and people would say, we both have a little resemblance.

You’re the 1 Goldilocks, because you brought happiness to my Aunt with just one bite of cassava cake. Looking at her taking every bite with glee just brings joy to my heart. I was so happy that finally, I was able to surprise her. She was like a selfish little child eating it all up as I cleaned off her cassava-smeared lips. It’s so amazing how small things can mean a lot to someone. That one good deed was appreciated with my Aunt’s smile of content. After all, one bite took all her pain away even just for a day.

It was still three years ago but it was one memory that my Aunt is thankful of. It reminded her that despite living a lonely life, there are a few people who can make one little act of kindness that made her feel she is being loved and remembered on mother’s day. In spite of everything she is still the best mom this world has, not just to me but to her daughter as well. And Goldilocks made it all happen.

A painful Truth

Sometimes, we take people for granted. Those people who are important to us, whom we care about. But there are reasons why these things happen. There are stories unrevealed why our immaturity comes in and why we tend to ignore their importance.

When my father left us years ago, it was as if the whole world was against me. He abandoned us and I blamed God for that. Why is life so unfair when everything you dreamed of, when all things you aspire would vanish with just one stupid mistake? I felt so left out and so alone when he turned his back on us. A once happy family was ruined by one filthy girl who tempted my father. I was betrayed. I questioned the world and ended up questioning God. Why do things have to be destroyed when all you ever do is try to build and protect it? When all you ever care about disappears? Why do people you care so much and value the most seem to fade when you've done all you can to keep them? When you've done everything they ask from you just to let them stay? Is it difficult to keep what one has promised?

I tried putting my life back. I tried living life according to what was right and tried becoming a good daughter, a good sister, a good girl. Being left out was difficult to bear. I never wanted that to happen. I don't want to lose someone I care so much about again, like loosing the only man I've loved in my entire life. But my imperfections try to come in my way. The harder I try to become perfect, the imperfect I become.

I have met people whom I considered as important, a few stayed but a couple of them left. People come and go; we meet new ones and make them a part of our lives. We make them significant beings in our present lives. But there are circumstances when we are unable to appreciate them. Why? Fear is one of the reasons that prompt us to ignore them- fear of being left out, of being alone. That investing our time on them might be of waste when in the end they would only leave us. We are taken over by our stubbornness, by our selfishness. And we realize that's its too late, when the ones we care about would tell us straight to our face that we've hurt them. That we have taken them for granted. It's a painful truth that one has to face when the ones we love are tired of trying to understand our stubbornness. We do want to keep them but at the back of our minds, we question their sincerity; that having them around doesn't mean we can keep them forever. We question their trust, their vow to stay… Not minding how they feel at all. At the end of the day we end up loosing ourselves and loosing the ones we love.

I ended up like that. My past became a painful reflection of who I've become. It’s a hurtful truth that keeps haunting me. Blaming the world doesn’t help. Questioning God isn’t the answer to this painful reality.
Mike Murdock’s theory of recognition states that, “everything you need is already in your life merely awaiting your recognition of it.”
We need not to find what is missing. We need not to search for what we don't have. Everything else in this world needs time to be acknowledged and appreciated. The people around us, even if they might have left or stayed, are worth investing our time with. Don’t ever miss that chance to express your gratefulness. Never take them for granted. You wouldn't want to loose everything you have. You wouldn't want to end up like me, alone and gray...

And she said, “I booked for a facial wash”

My sister has been eagerly asking me to have her face fixed. I mean get a good scrub, peel off the blackheads and all that…
It was nine in the morning and I was off to the city for some fun. I told April that I’ll meet her at Crown Regency by 2:30 or earlier to grant her long awaited wish for a facial spa. She was astonishingly surprised when I said that. She waited for a month I guess to finally experience one chance of vanity. Her face brightened with a big grin as I said goodbye and promised to be early.
As I was on my way, I was delighted by how my sister reacted. It’s been a long time since we spent time together after a big fight. And I realized how much I missed her. How much I miss our times together when all we do is laugh and shop and have fun!! Well, it’s going to be one fine day for us.
To my surprise, we were both early. It would be shameful if we wouldn’t since this friend of mine, by the name of zenith who invited us for a free facial spa, is quite time conscious. We might miss that one chance to get our face cleaned. I couldn’t help but notice my sister’s excitement as we hopped in the elevator. We were just staring at each other and chuckled. Aside from it’s our first time to have a spa, it’s our first time to bond after two years of not talking to each other. Yes, two years but it seemed like it was only yesterday.
I wonder how that feels when someone else pricks your blackheads and all the dirt on your face. I was a little bit hesitant because I might not last a minute. I don’t really get into these things. I never imagined myself to be in this frightful thing!
I look at it as vanity. Why would someone spend much for that when you can clean your face with soap and water at home and prick your own acne with your bare hands? It’s that easy! But my sister? She was extremely excited.
Off we went to the19th floor with delighted faces and high spirits. Zenith hurried to the front desk and said,” hi I booked for a facial wash for three.” What did she say again? A facial wash for three? Why would anyone want a facial wash at a spa? I tried not to laugh but I couldn’t help it. It was one amusing thing that casted my fear away. All we could do was giggle and laugh our hearts out. Good thing she didn’t say feminine wash. It would be really embarrassing. Her face was so serious as she approached the lady, who wouldn’t laugh at it? Well, I’ve got nothing else to say though. Zip!
She toured us around and we took a few pictures of ourselves for memorabilia. Zenith was kind enough to treat us out. She bought some tickets to a 4d movie and we headed to their nice pool at the edge of the building. It was super cool! We went down their lovely stairs towards PRANA to have our facial spa (a.k.a facial wash). I’m not trying to embarrass Zen; I just can’t help but tease her.
We had a little chitchat and exchange of ideas regarding beauty regimens. As we went inside I was fascinated by what I saw. Three beds at the corner of the building and I can see the whole city. The place is exquisite, so cozy and relaxing. I chose one nice bed near the glass window. Three adorable women in white came inside along with beauty creams and bottles on their hands. I lie in bed and covered myself with that soft white blanket. As Elisa touched my face, I could feel the softness of her hands like touching a newborn baby. She was gentle on me since I told her it’s my first time. I was a little stiff at first. It was as if I was about to have my tooth extracted. But she assured me that I’m in good hands. It’s like being bitten by an ant but rather a couple of them trying to eat your skin out. I might get teary-eyed but it’s normal. One has to sacrifice for the sake of beauty! I get teary-eyed when I prick my own blackheads at home. So I’ll just enjoy it instead. There is nothing to worry about because according to Zen, it’s all natural.
I could smell the fragrance of sweet cucumber all over the room, accompanied by a relaxing music that lightens a heart. She put some cream on my face and wiped it with warm, damped towel. I don’t know what was going on there but I loved the feeling. It was so refreshing and soothing. I was talking and enjoying everything. I tried to loosen up and kept myself still. It’s going to be an hour of beauty pampering at its best. We were talking about anything that comes in mind- from food to celebrities. Elisa would ask me from time to time if I’m doing fine. I would simply answer her with a yes and a smile.
A few minutes later, I can hardly breathe as warm air was blowing on my face. I managed to calm myself down and breathe normally. I couldn’t wait for that thing to get off my face. I might get burned and die of suffocation. How dreadful! (haha) Well it was to open my pores and for dirt to show up. Its part of the routine procedure so that it would be easy to prick all the types of heads found on my face.

I’m really enjoying the treat. We would laugh at each other as Zen was complaining how that one prick hurts. I wasn’t the only person who almost cried, we all did.

Wanna know if I’d try that again? I definitely will. Warm air blowing on my face can’t kill and a “facial wash” for three is a lot of fun.

the rain in my heart

whenever it rains very hard,
it makes my day feel very glad
i can't play games under the sun
but in the rain falling in my arms.

they fall like teardrops from my dear face
and fall into something near my dry place,
droplets and droplets they go astray
singing a sweet song day by day.

it's really fun to run and run
playing with soil and making a toy gun
hopping and jumping away i go
waiting for the sun to come, and go.

the smile you gave me day by day
makes me feel real happy and gay;
i laugh and laugh all day long
and i don't want anything but your sweet song.

oh rain! oh rain! please don't go away
you make my day really happy and gay
'coz it's fun to be with whenever you stay
and makes my teardrops being washed away.

every time you say goodbye,
it makes my teardrops fall from my eye
i love your tender thunder and lightning
which makes my heart full of loving.

now you're gone and the rainbow will come
the flowers will bloom and your tears will be done
i would miss you a lot my only one
'coz you're in my heart and makes my day fun.

and when in the night i look at the sky
there's something there that i can't deny
i really miss you my best friend ever
and i'll always remember you forever and ever.

every time i think of you
i would open the window and wait for you,
until my tears will fall down from me
i cry and cry forever it will be.

but when i realize that now you're gone
i go to my mother and say "my best friend is gone"
now i know you live very far apart
you'll always be forever the rain in my heart.

(my very first poem ever written... i was twelve then. it was raining and i hid myself under the table inside the classroom.)

A research adventure

I have always dreamed of flying. I wanted to see the beauty of nature from a bird's eye view and explore the wonders of the earth. On December break, I was asked to partake in a school research about ARSP (agrarian reform support project) to a few upland communities in Negros occidental. When I first knew about it, I was really excited. The fact that i am going to ride on a plane for the first time, it will surely make my trip a more exciting one.

The weather was not that friendly, I thought there was a typhoon since it was raining very hard. There was zero visibility as what the pilot said. it was a bumpy ride, but I enjoyed it the way I enjoy a roller coaster ride. as i peep through the window, it seems as if I am looking at the world through Google earth. Funny though because I felt like I’m in heaven when I see nothing but white. I told myself "this is the life I've always dreamed of, at peace with the world and myself." it supposed to be a twenty minute ride but we arrived at the airport almost an hour. Well, thank goodness we arrived safe and sound because a few of the passengers were pretty scared. Their faces looked blank, their eyes wandering through the clouds. If I could read their minds their probably asking,”will we make it to Bacolod?” I made a grin and talked to myself again- “this is going to be an adventure I’ll never forget, Negros here I come!”
I thought I was gonna flew off with the umbrella as the wind blew me away when if first took a step at the airport. What a relief! I saw people welcoming me with a smile even if they were not smiling at me. We headed straight to silay as if shared my amusing story with my teacher. I bet she was mesmerized by the thought that I was having a great time in a quite scary flight. We discussed about the places to go, what to do and what not to do. I was listening, nodding my head as to what she was saying but honestly, my mind was wandering. I can't wait to go to the mountain barangays and see the hidden beauty of nature from my view. As I was busy talking and looking at the green scenery, I’ve come up with a title not about the research but of my great adventure there. And I called it, my Negros escapade.
San Carlos city was our first stop. It’s not the typical city as I expected it to be- calm and quiet. it looks as if I’m in my hometown in liloan. We finally met marriane, a student I’ll be working with the faculty research. Well, it was my first time to work with someone whom I hardly know. Yet, I was amazed by how both our personalities collided. I not just met a student, but I met a wonderful friend in her. The whole adventure was a venue for us to get to know each other well. Since then on, I call her Jollibee baby because she doesn't get tired of dining at that food chain. I also met kuya nelson who was kind enough to drive us throughout our trip.

The weather was not a hindrance for us to do the research. It even made the trip more challenging. Unfortunately, we were not able to go to brgy. puey. It flooded in the area and we might end up floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Since there are many agrarian reform communities in San Carlos city, we got a couple of options- brgy bagonbon and codcod are two of the barangays having benefited from the agrarian support project. However, the rain even got worse, so we headed back to San Carlos city and stayed at our teacher's place. In fact, her family was accommodating and heartwarming. Her father reminded us to be careful since insurgency is present in the upland communities of San Carlos city. Why should I be afraid? As a matter of fact, I’m one of their kind. (hahaha)

The following day, we planned out where to go. brgy bagonbon was first on our list. We had a two hour ride on a rough and rugged road. When we got there, we interviewed a few officials since the brgy. Captain was in the city. I could feel the cool breeze embracing me along with the smell of fried fish early in the morning. We took a few pictures of the area for documentation as well. Afterwards, we headed to our next stop- brgy. codcod. Along the way, I have realized that despite the project's vision of a transformed agrarian reform community, the program has not achieved its purpose. On brgy. bagonbon's case, the agrarian reform beneficiaries are left nothing with a broken vow; broken promise of a productive and fertile land. Until now, they have not received land titles and they do not even have a registered people's organization. What surprised me was the kind of life that the folks lived by- a life of simplicity and contentment where they are able to smile despite a hard day's work in the farmland.

On the other hand, brgy codcod has a different story. On our way there, the beautiful mountains and terraces amazed me. I saw a few people walking on barefoot with logs in their heads, a man enjoying his ride on a carabao, two lovely old couple cutting the weeds and children soaking wet in the river- with adorable smiles tattooed on their faces. The cool breeze warms my heart with calmness and serenity where I’m able to find solace. This is nature at its best that definitely astonished a young lad like me. Just imagine how wonderful life can be if spent with appreciation and solitude. Amazing, huh...
brgy. codcod is one of the remarkable places I’ve been to. The climate is freezing cold-just imagine yourself locked in a fridge for a day. The land is fertile and as such, they have plenty of agricultural products present in the area. We were able to obtain pertinent data relevant for our research. The councilors were really friendly and they allowed us to have a little tour around barangay codcod. They showcased their farm equipments that were provided by the project years ago as well as the products abundant in the area. They have well managed the infrastructures that they have received and took the effort of continuing the project's objective. Well, if not of the ARBs initiative and desire to uplift their situation, they would not reach that far. They continue to adhere in implementing the program that was left at hand.

When I was a child, I wondered how soft the clouds can be. Well I’ve realized that clouds are not what it seems to be. We think too much about how to help people who are in need and find ways of providing programs and services that could benefit them. We envision a future full of hope and optimism, yet we hardly realize that we're unable to put into action what we truly aim for. We end up losing control and ignoring what seems to be the issue. Security of land tenure is what all farmers dream of. They have worked hard enough to till the land they are occupying and momentarily, able to own it. For more than fifteen years of the project's establishment, it seems to me that it never existed at all. They started it but, never took time of assessing nor monitoring the project's shortcomings. As for me, the government took them for granted. its just the usual scenario that I have observed with people in the government trying hard to provide services to the marginalized sector of society. “Well, are they?” probably, fifteen years is not enough to fulfill their vision, they probably need more ample time for us to see what they can do.

I could say that we all live in different environments in different situations and both barangays allowed us to see two different worlds apart from the world that we were born with.